pinetreesandlace asked: How do we go about coping with mistakes we have made? How do we forgive ourselves?
To forgive means to become present.
Why do you need to forgive yourself? Because you are blaming yourself and dwelling on thoughts about the past. You are creating suffering that doesn’t actually exist right now.
Forgiveness isn’t a magic spell that makes this go away. Forgiveness is when you stop blaming, stop dwelling on compulsive thoughts, and be where you are now. To forgive is to stop your creation of new suffering from old memories.
We should learn from our mistakes and strive to make peace with those we may have harmed. But to torture yourself over things you regret is just unnecessary.
Altogether, people are too reactive. We react to memories of the past, imaginations of the future, and judgments of the present. Then all we know is our world of reactivity. We seek things that give us a positive reaction and avoid things that give us a negative reaction. We are at the mercy of reactivity.
Peace is not something given to you. It is a refraining from the intoxication of reactivity. If you are ready to forgive others, no matter what, then you can feel free to forgive yourself. If you meditate and practice mindfulness continuously, then you will find it possible to do so when your emotions and mind are in turmoil.